i think it's just about time

i've been throwing out every assumption i can find, replacing them with assumptions that are identified, as clearly as possible, and based as much as possible on things which are indisputable. Then i even try to dispute those. the primary foundation of my reality is currently that change is, thus i have taken the label changist.

i've been collecting my memories, following my dreams, watching my mind interpret world. Finding recurring personalities amongst and seeing no way to combine them or synthesize down to one dominant persona or writing style. i diversify.

this right here is a band of thinkers, doers, lovers, beers, questions and answers, going under whatever name seems to fit at the time. a collective, a multiperson. We've established this before, and played with pronouns to fit, but somehow i thought i would grow out of it. As though it were a coping mechanism for an issue that would eventually heal. Perhaps it will heal, but that point is not perceivable in the future, so i might as well, awarely, for the time being, behave as though coping mechanisms are as natural as the air i think we're breathing.

but lets call them "strategies[ for success]" instead of coping mechanisms, it sounds more positive. thus i am a strategist.

This feels like it's an absorbtion of the "strategies are learning" segment of Self Design info i exposed myself to at Rethinking Everything. I struggle with the idea that i'm somehow borrowing an idea from the author if i read something in a book and then apply it to my life. Given the total amount of information available "out there", and the fraction which i have actually experienced, and the fraction of that which i noticed experiencing, and the fraction of that which "clicked" with me, and the fraction of that which i actually decided to use in my recent reconstitution. I own the idea. The idea which is currently part of me, not the strings of intellectual property, or copyright, but the concept.

i have, i guess, developed, a vision of the world i want, and am working on strategies to get it. Writing may be one, i've got a book of "exercises toward mastery" of poetry. Music may be one, i've got ProTools and some wicked-cool instruments in my homespace. Service may be one, i hold a position creating as oasis in the grand canyon. it's really hard for me to refrain from saying grand freaking canyon every time i mention it. still. after months of living here. it's just, still, the coolest dang place i've ever lived, and i've lived at arco'freakin'santi!
! ? ! ~

my housemates have been playing guitar and fiddle behind me for like an hour now at least. i'm going to go experience some live music and company. -[rry]

["rry" is shorthand for murray, and looks much like the signature the author adopted at the time of this entry incorporating all 6 letters of his name into three penstrokes. ]